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I've Decided I'm Doing This for Me
I'm doing this for me. Not for those who called me too fat to be pretty.
Not for the snooty vendors who look down on me when I try on dresses.
Not for those who say "Too bad, she has a pretty face".
Not to make my parents happy.
Not to fit in to a stereotypical idea of beauty.

I'm doing this to get healthy.
To show myself that I can.
To be a strong woman: I can be athletic. I can be beautiful.
I want to feel good in my own skin.
I want to find MYSELF beautiful.
I want to look in my mirror and smile.

I don't want to think "What if I felt good in my skin ..." anymore.
I don't want to look at a beautiful dress and think "Too bad..."
I don't want to think of myself in disgust. My body and I deserve better than that.
I don't want to mistreat my body. It's not my own little garbage can.
I don't want to devalue my health.
I do not want to binge and purge, binge and purge.
I do not want to punish myself anymore.

I'm going to do this, slowly but surely.

And it has made all the difference.



I found this little gem today on SparkPeople.  It's always great when you find someone out there that expresses the same feelings that you're having trouble putting into words.  So, to whoever you are SOUKICAVILL, "Thank You."  You've summed up my new feelings perfectly!

Cortny