Spring

Here I am, enjoying a hard-boiled egg white from Easter and trying not to think that today's my last day of Spring Break.  Oh well!  I'm trying to stay positive, right?  So I won't think about how it rained nearly every single day of Spring Break and that I ate way too much this weekend.  BUT...our family did go on a 2 mile hike yesterday after Easter brunch.  I know, right?!  I'm proud, too.  Plus, after our walk we played the most violent game of whiffle ball EVER!  Three injured children and a mom with terrible heartburn.  Yeah, the mom would be me.  That's what physical activity after two mimosas will do to a girl in her 30's.  So I guess all-in-all yesterday was a fairly healthy holiday.  Big stress on the word "fairly."

So now that Easter and Spring Break are officially out of the way, I really feel that spring and all its outdoor potential is really here.  We only have five more days of April showers before May sunshine and flowers are upon us.  (See, I CAN be positive :)  Chad and I have been talking more and more frequently about adventure racing again, too.  There's no way we could ever jump right back into it, but I think that we're ready to start training with a short race as our goal.  As long as we have that goal, we're pretty good at adhering to it.  May is a great time to bike train, which is one of the most difficult legs of adventure racing for me.  So I'm thinking that it's time for Chad and I to get our bikes tuned so that I'm eager to begin bike training in a week or two.  Oddly enough, I'm actually kind of excited thinking about it.  I don't know, though.  Cabin fever has a tendency to be misdiagnosed as excitement this time of year ;)

172.0 lbs (Yeah, I gained back my overindulged purge),
Cortny

The Revenge of my 30's

 In case you haven't noticed, I've been trying to post my progress every Sunday.  Obviously, I didn't post anything yesterday.  "Why?" you might ask.  Well, let's just say it was "The Revenge of my 30's."

When I turned 30, 2 years ago, several things started to happen.  My weight began to steadily climb, I began thinking more like a rational adult, my skin wasn't nearly as elastic as before, and I learned how to drink much more socially.  (Yes, the list is obviously longer that this, but these are the ones that stare me in the face on a day-to-day basis.)  Too many twenty-something nights had I stared into the wretched face of the porcelain god.  As I rolled into my thirties, though, I learned how to drink much more gracefully.  Unfortunately, as Saturday exposed, I sometimes have relapses.  Ugh!!!

I spent the entire day yesterday praying to that porcelain god because of too much indulging on Saturday night.  Yes, I am ashamed and do not think that this is acceptable behavior for a healthy lifestyle.  Also, I fell off the wagon a few nights this past week when it came to healthy dinners.  Oh well, after yesterday I still lost weight.  Who couldn't after the bottle flu that I fought yesterday.  So, my goal this week... I will eat healthier dinners and get in four days of exercising.  That way, I will still continue to lose weight instead of gaining back what flushed down the toilet yesterday.

169.5 lbs,
Cortny

Community

I've Decided I'm Doing This for Me
I'm doing this for me. Not for those who called me too fat to be pretty.
Not for the snooty vendors who look down on me when I try on dresses.
Not for those who say "Too bad, she has a pretty face".
Not to make my parents happy.
Not to fit in to a stereotypical idea of beauty.

I'm doing this to get healthy.
To show myself that I can.
To be a strong woman: I can be athletic. I can be beautiful.
I want to feel good in my own skin.
I want to find MYSELF beautiful.
I want to look in my mirror and smile.

I don't want to think "What if I felt good in my skin ..." anymore.
I don't want to look at a beautiful dress and think "Too bad..."
I don't want to think of myself in disgust. My body and I deserve better than that.
I don't want to mistreat my body. It's not my own little garbage can.
I don't want to devalue my health.
I do not want to binge and purge, binge and purge.
I do not want to punish myself anymore.

I'm going to do this, slowly but surely.

And it has made all the difference.



I found this little gem today on SparkPeople.  It's always great when you find someone out there that expresses the same feelings that you're having trouble putting into words.  So, to whoever you are SOUKICAVILL, "Thank You."  You've summed up my new feelings perfectly!

Cortny

Finding a Pedometer...

When you embark on any journey in life, whether you have deep beliefs or not, you hope for some cosmic sign.  You want to know the universe is behind you.  You actively look for, but seldom  get a push from nowhere.
With this in mind, I was shocked when as we got out of the car at the local mall to buy one of our daughters some new athletic shoes (so she can join us on some fitness outings)... and I found a Pedometer. A nice one. In perfect shape.
It wasn't even off in the distance. It was right at my door as I opened it.
The least I can do is wear it now. 
So far I have 1822 steps on the day...not to bad for morning behind a desk. 
I will see to it, that no matter what each day brings, it will see 10,000 steps.

Chad

Oh, and no, I didn't try and find who lost it.  Nobody lost it...universe gave it to me.
: )

The Week in Review

So here we are, 1 week under our belts.  Do I feel as though I put in everything I could and more?  Did I "sweat til I bleed?"  The answer - HELL NO!  Am I happy with the small changes that I consciously made?  Definitely.  Like I tried to make aware in my Goals post, I don't want to jump in over my head from the beginning.  I really think that I'll burn out quickly if I go about this fitness thing in that way.  Instead, I'm trying to change a few things first and gradually build from there.  This is something that I want to stick with.  This is NOT a flash in the pan workout regimen!!!

So here are a few things that I'm proud of this week and some that I'm a little ashamed of.  I'll leave the deciphering of which category each falls under to you.

1. I lost 1 1/2 pounds this week!!!  Woot! Woot!
2. In a ravenous fury, I drank pickle juice straight from the jar.
3. I brought a well-balanced lunch to school every day this week.
4. Instead of working out Friday and Saturday, I went out with my girlfriends and husband.  Mmm...martinis.
5. I chose a side salad and cup of broth based soup at Culvers for lunch yesterday instead of a Double Mushroom Swiss burger and fried cheese curds........  Oh!  I started daydreaming there for a second.  Whew!

Anyway, those are just a few of the victories and lapses that I endured last week.  Now, let's see what this week holds in store.  I say, "Bring it on!"

172.6 lbs,
Cortny

Rebooting!

So, Cortny and I have been at this for a few days now is all.  I'm struggling mostly with how much I suck at this moment.  Ego is whipping me. Here is a guy who ran adventure races of 24 hour length...hours of paddling followed by hours of hiking, followed by miles and miles of biking.

...and now, I'm trying to get in 30 minute walks.

I can remember trying like crazy to get down to 200 lbs as a decent race weight. I never achieved that. My best race weight was 203 (I'm 6'4...so 203 is pretty good).

...and now I'd take 220 with a smile.

Just a few years ago I was biking to work and trying each day to best my last time (21 minutes was my best, averaging around 18 mph on a mountain bike).

...now I am trying to imagine biking to work at all. Ugh!

So, today I pressed the REBOOT button. By the end of the summer, I will be back.  I know how to do it...I just need to actually do it.

Chad

Week One in Progress

So, I'm well on my way into the first week of my goals.  I've been conscious of what I eat and have made some good choices.  I've also walked Monday and Tuesday.  Today, though...Not so hot!!!!

Yesterday, I did fine.  I had a light lunch and a chicken salad for dinner and was full for the entire day.  Today...not quite as light of a lunch (but still healthy), and by the time I got home from work around 4:15, I could have eaten everything in my refridgerator, freezer, and cupboards.  Actually, I practically did!!!

My family was having bratwurst and mac & cheese for dinner, so I opted for fajita leftovers.  1 tortilla and a pretty light mix of chicken, onion, and green pepper fajita mix.  I put a little fresh tomato on the fajita and had a few black beans and salsa on the side.  Overall, not too bad.  Well, while I waited, I ate a piece of string cheese and two pickles.  Then, after dinner I had an ice cream bar!  I actually drank some of the pickle juice, too!  Seriously, right out of the jar!!!  Ugh!  As if that's not bad enough, while my family was eating their dinner, I buzzed around them begging for food.  I think that I've resorted to the mentality of a four year old.  I blame it on the lowered calorie intake.  It's affecting my brain.

Well, I'm planning on going for another walk with Chad soon.  I'm hoping that the activity will subdue my fantasies of something fried and/or covered in chocolate.  I know that the hunger stems from lack of activity and boredom.  I just wish that, at the end of a long day, stationary activity made us as stuffed as a deep dish pizza and pitcher of beer!

Not weighing myself until Sunday,
Cortny